Frozen food for overheated brain

Television has become new-age microwave oven for the average indian viewer these days, the News channels thaw and cook variety of instant noodles for the man on the run. Gone are the days when the only source of News was Doordarshan, which practically lived upto it's name Far away news from our very own country.

You wait for the world news to know about Somalia bombings and Angelina's latest adopted baby from Somalia grabs the eyeballs, and the bombing news is just a teeny weeny scrolling newsline in the bottom of the screen. Even small black ants are visible on the granite flooring of your house, when compared to the scrolling news on News channel. If you want to know more about new food, then the menu is readily available on your favourite News channels...from Good Food to Non-edible food (want to know how Surender singh cooked his food?) everything is laid bare from the type of cooking oil to how it's going to be ejected out of your system. next day morning. And, the non-edible part is usually hosted by a guy who one would usually find in C-grade movies, trying to rape the heroines. And the way he mouths his lines on the channel about a grisly murder of a buffalo which ensured, a spell bound audience from the hinterlands of the Fodder scam state. They ensure "Satisfacton Garunteed" tagline for all their instant food content. For adults they ensure MMS and all SEX scams are shown at late nights, so your mid-night binges are satisfied! Now there's no complaint from the adult crowd right!!

That's the kind of training you get from running a successful Udipi Restaurants in peak hours. I bet they sure got their cooking lessons from the guy from Udipi.

For the young girls and bored housewives, there's instant food for you too...Sanjay Dutt AKA Munnabhai wants to give you some makeupgiri lessons in your local beauty parlor with totally imported Indian Make-up kit. And he's going to help that chinese lady to apply masacara on you for free!! If that doesn't satisfy your tummy urges, Karan Johar might help you with tips on how to make the perfect blend of coffee with Abhishek and Aishwarya giving you demonstration, of how to boil tea leaves for perfect coffee.

As for kids, oh yes!! they do remember that you guys exist on this planet...they have the best of fizzy drinks at your disposal, Krish supports Coca Cola and Don likes his french fries. So bachha log, go ahead since it is accredited of purity in Indian standards it's totally safe to eat and drink pesticides..oops Homicides..oops Pepsi Cola with a Double Maharaja Mac of organically g(k)rilled chicken.

And all you elderly Aunties and Uncles, how can we forget you!! Baba Ramdev is bringing homemade Ethical Gajar Halwa to your local mall!! You can find it next to Hindu cola that was launched last week. It's got blessings of Certain Bapu from Bapu's state. So it's perfectly fine, it will kill germs inside your body and bingo!! you can use it as a flush too..all in the name of God!!

And you guys thought you were starved for food for your brain. Turn on the TV where ethical food is given to you, all you need to do is thaw it, let it get warm and Lo!! it's ready. And whoever said, couch potato is an extinct species...here's a pack of french fries marketed by Big B. Buy Big B and Get one Aby Baby free.