Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Welcome to Beasley Street!


I stumbled across this fabulous piece of poetry by John Cooper Clarke called 'Beasley Street'. I have been using the stanzas from the poem in my shutterbug operations like a woman possessed. I came across it when i was looking for popular slangs and phrases (internet truly is a El Dorado of our times).



Beasley Street


FAR FROM CRAZY PAVEMENTS

...THE TASTE OF SILVER SPOONS

A CLINICAL ARRANGEMENT

...ON A DIRTY AFTERNOON

WHERE THE FECAL GERMS OF MR. FREUD

...ARE RENDERED OBSOLETE

THE LEGAL TERM IS NULL AND VOID

IN THE CASE OF... BEASLEY STREET


IN THE CHEAP SEATS WHERE MURDER BREEDS

SOMEBODY IS OUT OF BREATH

SLEEP IS A LUXURY THEY DON'T NEED

...A SNEAK PREVIEW OF DEATH

BELLADONNA IS YOUR FLOWER

MANSLAUGHTER YOUR MEAT

SPEND A YEAR IN A COUPLE OF HOURS

ON THE EDGE OF BEASLEY STREET



WHERE THE ACTION ISN'T

THAT'S WHERE IT IS

STATE YOUR POSITION

VACANCIES EXIST

IN AN X-CERTIFICATE EXERCISE

EX-SERVICEMEN EXCRETE

KEITH JOSEPH SMILES AND A BABY DIES

IN A BOX ON BEASLEY STREET


FROM THE BOARDING HOUSES AND THE BEDSHEETS FULL OF

...ACCIDENTS AND FLEAS

SOMEBODY GETS IT

WHERE THE MISSING PERSONS FREEZE

WEARING DEAD MEN'S OVERCOATS

YOU CAN'T SEE THEIR FEET

A RIFF JOINT SHUTS - OPENS UP

RIGHT DOWN ON BEASLEY STREET



CARS COLLIDE, COLOURS CLASH

DISASTER MOVIE STUFF

FOR A MAN WITH THE FU MANCHU MOUSTACHE

REVENGE IS NOT ENOUGH

THERE'S A DEAD CANARY ON A SWIVEL SEAT

THERE'S A RAINBOW IN THE ROAD

MEANWHILE ON BEASLEY STREET

SILENCE IS THE CODE


HOT BENEATH THE COLLAR

...AN INSPECTOR CALLS

WHERE THE PERISHING STINK OF SQUALOR

...IMPREGNATES THE WALLS

THE RATS HAVE ALL GOT RICKETS

THEY SPIT THROUGH BROKEN TEETH

THE NAME OF THE GAME IS NOT CRICKET

CAUGHT OUT ON ...BEASLEY STREET



THE HIPSTER AND HIS HIRED HAT

DRIVE A BORROWED CAR

YELLOW SOCKS AND A PINK CREVAT

NOTHING LA-DI-DAH

O-A-P

MOTHER-TO-BE

WATCH THE THREE-PIECE SUITE

WHEN SHITSTOPPER DRAINS

AND CROCODILE SKIS

ARE SEEN ON ...BEASLEY STREET



THE KINGDOM OF THE BLIND

...A ONE-EYED MAN IS KING

BEAUTY PROBLEMS ARE REDEFINED

...THE DOORBELLS DO NOT RING

A LIGHT BULB BURST LIKE A BLISTER

THE ONLY FORM OF HEAT

WHERE A FELLOW SELLS HIS SISTER

...DOWN THE RIVER ON BEASLEY STREET



THE BOYS ARE ON THE WAGON

THE GIRLS ARE ON THE SHELF

THEIR COMMON PROBLEM IS

...THAT THEY'RE NOT SOMEONE ELSE

THE DIRT BLOWS OUT

THE DUST BLOWS IN

YOU CAN'T KEEP IT NEAT

IT'S A FULLY FURNISHED DUSTBIN

...SIXTEEN BEASLEY STREET


VINCE THE AGEING SAVAGE

BETRAYS NO KIND OF LIFE

...BUT THE SMELL OF YESTERDAY'S CABBAGE

AND THE GHOST OF LAST YEAR'S WIFE

THROUGH A CONSTANT HAZE

OF DEODORANT SPRAYS

HE SAYS ...RETREAT

ALSATIANS DOG THE DIRTY DAYS

DOWN THE MIDDLE OF BEASLEY STREET



PEOPLE TURN TO POISON

QUICK AS LAGER TURNS TO PISS

SWEETHEARTS ARE PHYSICALLY SICK

EVERY TIME THEY KISS

IT'S A SOCIOLOGIST'S PARADISE

EACH DAY REPEATS

UNEASY, CHEASY, GREASY, QUEASY

...BEASTLY, BEASLEY STREET


EYES DEAD AS VICIOUS FISH

LOOK AROUND FOR LAUGHS

IF I COULD HAVE JUST ONE WISH

I WOULD BE A PHOTOGRAPH

ON A PERMANENT MONDAY MORNING

GET LOST OR FALL ASLEEP

WHEN THE YELLOW CATS ARE YAWNING

AROUND THE BACK OF BEASLEY STREET



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